I am getting this feeling that is hard to categorize. I don't know if it's a premonition or simply indigestion of some kind. I felt some of this a little while before some major events in my life's story - for example the 1994 Northridge Earthquake and the OK City bombing - and nothing at all before other major events (like 9/11 or my sister-in-law's sudden stroke and subsequent death).
The feeling is an impending change - kind of like the drop in barometric pressure before a storm, or the change in sky color when a tornado is headed your way. I only wish that I knew what it is that is coming.
Now, I know that I have a tendency towards paranoia. I'm by nature more of a pessimist than an optimist - which is why I try really hard to look for the good in all things. So I am trying to turn this discomfort over to the Lord. But it is really difficult.
My profession is under attack - I don't think there is any grand conspiracy but rather a confluence of events. The culture of death has so infiltrated the health care system that I am not sure it can be extirpated. Much like in Orwell's 1984, language has lost its meaning - infanticide and euthanasia become 'death with dignity'. Murder of the preborn has become 'reproductive choice'. And so on. But this is nothing new, and I don't understand why, here and now, I am feeling so embattled and borderline embittered.
Pray for me when you can, please? Even a random thought/prayer here and there would be helpful.
