I am getting this feeling that is hard to categorize. I don't know if it's a premonition or simply indigestion of some kind. I felt some of this a little while before some major events in my life's story - for example the 1994 Northridge Earthquake and the OK City bombing - and nothing at all before other major events (like 9/11 or my sister-in-law's sudden stroke and subsequent death).
The feeling is an impending change - kind of like the drop in barometric pressure before a storm, or the change in sky color when a tornado is headed your way. I only wish that I knew what it is that is coming.
Now, I know that I have a tendency towards paranoia. I'm by nature more of a pessimist than an optimist - which is why I try really hard to look for the good in all things. So I am trying to turn this discomfort over to the Lord. But it is really difficult.
My profession is under attack - I don't think there is any grand conspiracy but rather a confluence of events. The culture of death has so infiltrated the health care system that I am not sure it can be extirpated. Much like in Orwell's 1984, language has lost its meaning - infanticide and euthanasia become 'death with dignity'. Murder of the preborn has become 'reproductive choice'. And so on. But this is nothing new, and I don't understand why, here and now, I am feeling so embattled and borderline embittered.
Pray for me when you can, please? Even a random thought/prayer here and there would be helpful.
Jeremiah 30:6-8, 12-15.
6 Ask and see:
Can a man bear children?
Then why do I see every strong man
with his hands on his stomach like a woman in labor,
every face turned deathly pale?
7 How awful that day will be!
None will be like it.
It will be a time of trouble for Jacob,
but he will be saved out of it.
8 " 'In that day,' declares the LORD Almighty,
'I will break the yoke off their necks
and will tear off their bonds;
no longer will foreigners enslave them
12 "This is what the LORD says:
" 'Your wound is incurable,
your injury beyond healing.
13 There is no one to plead your cause,
no remedy for your sore,
no healing for you.
14 All your allies have forgotten you;
they care nothing for you.
I have struck you as an enemy would
and punished you as would the cruel,
because your guilt is so great
and your sins so many.
15 Why do you cry out over your wound,
your pain that has no cure?
Because of your great guilt and many sins
I have done these things to you.