personal: October 2006 Archives

My dad died this morning. It was both an expected event and a big surprise. His health has been failing steadily over the last year, and he has been in and out of the hospital. But it was still a surprise. Yes, he had been transferred from the rehab hospital (where he had been recovering from a below the knee amputation) to the acute care facility. But that has been happening with some regularity lately. And yes, he had been transferred to ICU Saturday with blood pressure issues - but that is just another of the bumps on the roller coaster ride he's been on for years. I asked my sister on Saturday if she thought we needed to fly out to California. She told me that the nurses thought he'd make it out of ICU again - he just needed to consent to go on dialysis. He really didn't want to go on dialysis - and he didn't.

He apparently suffered acute heart failure sometime this morning. His second wife was there with him, he had eaten a good breakfast, and he looked like he was going to sleep. But it was the final rest. I got the news this afternoon, while I was at work. I thought I was going to be ok to finish the day but by the time I got off the phone, I knew that I had to go home. Even though there is precious little that I can do on a practical level from 2000 miles away, I needed to be where I could talk on the phone freely and not worry about other stuff.

My brothers in CA will be helping my stepmom with details. I am waiting to see what the plans are before I make my plans. I guess that it is a good thing that I hadn't scheduled the housewarming yet - I'm going to push it to after Thanksgiving, I think. Make it an Advent/housewarming event.

If you can find a moment, pray for my dad's soul. I am morally certain that he was not in a state of grace, and I can only hope that at the very last he came to an acknowledgment and repentance. I take hope in the private revelations given to St. Faustina about the Divine Mercy. Pray, too, for one of my sisters. She and my dad were estranged, and now she is just torn up inside and out. Pray that she will find the peace that I know God wants her to have.

It's at times like this that I remember that forgiveness is more healing to the victim of ill-doing than to the perpetrator. It is possible to forgive without it being a justification or excuse for the evils done to one - it is possible to forgive even if the perpetrator never acknowledges the injustice, never apologizes, never makes even the first step towards reparation. Jesus from the cross asked forgiveness for those who crucified Him - and we are called to do likewise.

Oh my Jesus, forgive us our sins. Save us from the fires of Hell. Lead all souls to Heaven, especially those most in need of your mercy.
Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

when the blog's front page is limited to the side rolls.
Sorry folks. It has been a long few weeks. Every time I think that I have a few minutes to blog, I discover that I need to go with John to Menards to buy some essential bit of houshold hardware. Or to Home Depot. Or somewhere. And of course, sitting in an office 40+ hours/week takes up its share of the time. It's a busy practice. But it has its perks!

Last week, Saturday, I went with John to a chili cook-off sponsored by his new employer. That took up pretty much the day.
Friday night (the 13th) I went with John to a party for one of his new co-workers. Turns out that one of the things these folks like to do at parties in play cards. I like to play cards. Not as much as I like to play Scrabble, but darn close. Well, they like to play poker. My grandpappy taught me to play poker when I was knee high. When John and I were first married, we spent many a Friday night sitting around with friends drinking wine and playing penny ante poker. Remind me to tell you some time the story about the next door neighbor and the flaming pork chops.
Well, these folks play Texas Hold-em. Its a version of poker that I hadn't played, but I was figuring that when in Rome shoot Roman candles, so I said sure, I'll play. Then it turns out that they play for real money - not a lot, but everyone puts in ten bucks and starts with the same number of chips - and usually the one with all the chips at the end takes home the whole pot. But this time there were enough folks playing that the pot was divvied up $50 to the winner, $20 to second place, $10 to third. I ended up, after several rounds, being one of the last three players, then it was me against the guy that I later found out was the most frequent winner, and at the very end, I wagered my entire pile of chips in an all or nothing move - and won. Beginner's luck? who knows. But it was fun. And it paid for a few hardware items!

Yesterday was the Breast Cancer walk. My office has a tradition of trying to raise more money than the other OB offices in town but hasn't so far managed. But there was a strong encouragement to show up and walk. So I showed up. I did walk part of it but I found that my knees and back were not being co-operative and my asthma kicked in (I hadn't been truly prepared for just how COLD it was!) and so I wussed out about 1/3 of the way. Maybe next year. One thing that helped a little was that some ladies were selling scarves as a fund raiser - boy did I need that! And John ended up also buying and wearing one (real men aren't afraid to wear pink)
some pics - a little over exposed because I was using the Palm to take them!