Midwifery: April 2003 Archives

Stories not mine to tell


The Mighty Barrister is looking for personal stories about why the writer is personally opposed to abortion. I really wanted to get in there, but I have come to the conclusion that too much of this is a story not mine to tell.
There are those still living who trusted me with secrets of their deepest heart, stories of anguish and sin and triumph - and though those stories affected me, I cannot, will not violate that trust. There were those who hurt me deeply, and who I hurt, and after all the pain and sorrow, after all the repentance and forgiveness, remains the blessing. I cannot betray that. The repentance of those who hurt me has been a blessing and a gift. My ability to forgive has been a gift and a blessing. I pray to God that I have been forgiven by those I have hurt, but I will probably not know for sure this side of eternity. The details of the sins, of the hurts, of the reconciliations and of the distances - no, those are not mine to tell. Though I cannot forget, I can forgive, and I can pray for forgiveness. I am not unaffected, but I can strive to overcome the wounds and the pain.
There are those - many? few? I do not know for sure - whom I have wounded with deep and greivous sins. Some have rejected me. Others - I just do not know how they feel about me or what they think of me. It really does not matter. My sins have permanently affected who I am. Only rarely does there come a story that I am free to tell.
Dear Lord - I sometimes wish that you had created me enough of a poet to tell these stories without causing hurt, betraying others. Lord, why have you given me these stories and no way to share them? Am I too blind to see?
I confess to envy of the writers of fiction. I envy those story tellers, who through fantasy, myth, and legend, can tell the deepest truths,



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About this Archive

This page is a archive of entries in the Midwifery category from April 2003.

Midwifery: March 2003 is the previous archive.

Midwifery: May 2003 is the next archive.

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