Marriage for Grownups

from the current Touchstone (May 2004)
"Better relationship skills" won't enable a man to satisfy his wife and keep her from seeking intimacy elsewhere. Some men become lechers because their wives are prudes; most lechers are lechers because they like lechery. Some women are as insatiable for emotional highs as some men are insatiable for sexual thrills; sometimes it's because they're married to lugs but far more often it's because they are emotional lechers.
I don't believe in "relationships skills" because, first, I don't believe in "relationships" - an ugly word for a dumb idea. My wife and I have a marriage, not a relationship. The ground rules for a halfway decent marriage are really pretty simple: Be kind. Do the dishes. Make lunch. Take out the garbage. Pick out some flowers. Buy a pizza. Get over your stupid and never to be satisfied lusts - bodily lusts or emptional lusts. Grow up.
Anthony Esolen