What seems to be needed right now

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I am not good at some of these practicalities. I will be the first to admit it. That is why I have been asking for help. If I were not 2600 miles away I might be able to be of more practical help.

Nancy has two basic problems that play into each other. The first is the accusation that triggered all this - the accusation that her 18 y/o son molested his younger sister. This single accusation has spiraled into multiple accusations some or all of which may have been implanted and/or fabricated (think of the McMartin pre-school case and similar hysteria). Or, some or all of them may be true. Right now, it just isn't known. Nancy's son Nick has been arrested and is sitting in jail, as the family doesn't have the resources to pay a bail bondsman. So no one is at any risk from him (if indeed he was a risk in the first place, which is yet to be determined). Her son has yet to be appointed even a public defender as of my last information. I think that the family is trying to scrape together some funds for a private defense attorney.
He was 3 weeks away from graduating from High School when all this happened.

The second problem derives from the unconstitutional assumption that Nick is guilty until proven innnocent. The next fundamental assumption that Nancy and James, as the parents, must have known that their son was engaging in criminal activity with his sister and that they, as parents, were neglectful in not stopping it. I can't wrap my brain around the convolutions of this. I also know that it is very common in cases of sexual child abuse (and I would guess that close to 30% of my patients are survivors of such abuse) for the perpetrator to be so savvy that NO ONE, NO ONE, even suspects until and unless the victim decides to speak up. The commonest scenario I have seen for child sexual abuse seems to be daughters being molested by the mom's boyfriend or current partner. Not to say that it doesn't happen other ways - it does. And I am not denying the life long traumatic effects of being molested by a trusted family member. They are real and they are ghastly. But I also know that children have vivid imaginations and that they can be exposed to lots of sexually charged scenarios just by watching daytime and prime time TV. And anyone who has parented more that one child knows how easily one can persuade a child to tell stories. The boundaries between fact and fiction can be very difficult even for adults to negotiate - look at the successes of various works of fiction in persuading even well educated adults that the history they learned growing up was a big lie. (Think all the various conspiracy theorists across the political spectrum, consider Oliver Stone's film JFK, Dan Brown's book the Da Vinci Code, the movie 'birth of a nation', to name just a few). If educated adults who have abundant free will can be manipulated so easily, what do you think happens to children under pressure? Anyhow, I digress.

Nancy also needs an independant attorney for herself and probably a separate one for her husband. The court-appointed ones do not seem to be advocating at all for them or for the real needs of her children. This also takes money.

I will be the first to say that I am absolutely lousy when it comes to money. I am pretty sure that there needs to be some kind of legal defense fund set up her but I don't have the first idea of what to do or how to do it. Anyone who has any suggestions, go for it. The comments box is open to you. But please don't ask me to be the banker. I can't. I can and will pray. I can and will try to marshall resources. I will write letters, post updates, and do all that kind of stuff in between taking care of my family and my job.

Tomorrow I will be on call for 24 hours and will probably not be able to post anything. But don't let that stop you.

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If any of our readers happen to be family lawyers in the state of Arizona, would you take a moment to look into a family that needs help? Nancy Sandrock is a practicing midwife and mother of twelve in Maricopa... Read More


A friend of mine had an idea to contact Cindy McCain (Sen. John McCain's wife) to try and get her attention in this situation. I have searched online for a way to contact her but to no avail. Does anyone know how to go about this? It is worth a try. They are no stranger to big families having 7 children of their own. Maybe atleast they could get the family reunited. We are praying for Nancy and her family that God's Will be done and their family reuntied. I have passed along her story to numerous friends who are also praying.

I shouldn't have looked, but I did.

That baby looks like he's been shaken. Oh my dear Lord.

Being in Canada, I'm not much help. But I am praying, and hard.

We're still praying...

Oh that breaks my heart! I would be going crazy if that were my baby. Poor Nancy!

You talked a bit about the 18 yr old son, but I am wondering how the 10 yr old in the middle of all this is doing. Has she shown signs of something being wrong at all before? (Becoming withdrawn, not wanting to be babysat, weight changes, UTIs?) The craziest part of all of this is that the system has alienated the people who could best answer these questions - her parents.

I'm not so quick to believe that the girl is making up allegations, at least not the first allegation. How did the first allegation come about in the first place? Who did she tell? Under what circumstances? It doesn't sound like this was the sort of household where the children would be exposed to much salacious material, so I don't buy the 'societal influence' theory, besides, if you're influenced and exposed to enough to think of making up stories, you're also exposed to enough to know that nothing good comes from telling them. I was 11 when my older brother molested me, and I knew for sure that it would tear my family apart if it came out, and besides, I didn't want him to go to jail. I didn't tell anyone for years.

Its just unfortunate that the family is too busy defending itself and just trying to stay together to come together and grieve and seek truth and heal the way they need too. Instead they are stuck in a defensive posture. I agree with the others that this situation needs a little light shone on it, and I suggest that the family send that picture along with a press release to every news outlet in their area and nationally that they can.

I wish I could help, but all I have to give is prayers.

A friend in my comment boxes made the following suggestion that seems pretty reasonable. Maybe worth a try?

"ARizona CPS is notorious. I cannot log onto her message board- but if you can- Catholic Social Services is on 19th and Northern. They might be of some help. The Catholic Family life office may be as well. The new Bishop is pretty supportive of large families."

I sent Nancy a bunch of phone numbers and some contacts that might help, but I haven't heard if she read the e-mail I sent. I suspect she's getting bunches.

The numbers I sent were primarily Catholic groups, including one that might have referrals for lawyers that would do it pro bono.

The bottom line is, the prayers need to be for Nancy to get a pro bono lawyer that will dig into this case. If she had a legitimate advocate, my guess is this could be straightened out in two weeks.

I agree with assuming the "innocent until proven guilty" re: the 18 year old. But even if he were guilty, that does not mean the parents are guilty of negligence. There is a very real chance they didn't know.

I was a victim of sexual abuse when I was 7. It happened in my parents house, although not by a family member. I never told my parents--twenty years later they still don't know. I was from a small family, with a stay at home mom, but there was no way they could have known unless they had walked in on it or been told about it--so it was in no way their fault. I know others who for various reasons (shame, fear and others more complex) never told. I am not saying silence was or is the right choice--only that it is a very real possibility that good parents might not know.

Hope this helps! I would imagine John would know how to reach his wife. ;-) Praying too!

The Honorable John McCain
United States Senate
241 Russell Senate Office Building
Washington, D.C. 20510-0303
DC Phone: 202-224-2235
DC Fax: 202-228-2862
Email Address: http://mccain.senate.gov/index.cfm?fuseaction=Contact.Home
WWW Homepage: http://mccain.senate.gov/

District Offices:
4703 South Lakeshore Drive, Suite 1
Tempe, AZ 85282 Voice: 480-897-6289
FAX: 480-897-8389
to Tempe office from Google Maps
5353 North 16th Street, Suite 105
Phoenix, AZ 85016 Voice: 602-952-2410
FAX: 602-952-8702
to Phoenix office from Google Maps
407 West Congress Street, Suite 103
Tucson, AZ 85701 Voice: 520-670-6334
FAX: 520-670-6637

I've seen some questions regarding the 10-year-old, so I thought I'd answer them.

This whole thing came about when a teacher at her school "overheard her telling a story to some friends."

She had very good grades, no history of UTIs, and she hasn't had a personality change. She has always had a tendency to be a little bossy/sassy and loud. In fact, she'd go and call for mom or dad or jen (the eldest sister) if someone so much as looked at her funny.
She never told my parents anything about this. Never even hinted at it.

When she came home from the interrogation the first day, she told my mom "This is what I told my FRIENDS. [sic]"
When asked if it was true, and had actually happened, she repeated that "This is what I told my friends."
Joanna had been asking for some time to go and live with her friend from school (who has gone through the foster care system in Phx) and "Be a Norman" (her word for Morman)
All things considered, she was most likely sending out a call for attention that backfired horribly. While it is a possibility that her initial outcry was founded on SOMETHING, the physical forensic exam didn't match what we know of her original story AT ALL. The thing is, we still don't know exactly what her original story was. She won't say anything about it because "They told [her] that [she's] NOT ALLOWED to TALK about it, at ALL." And we can't get two stories that match from CPS/the sherrif's office. EVEN IN WRITING, they contradict themselves. So we really don't know.

What we DO know, is that the allegations against my parents are completely untrue and unfounded.
They ARE lying through thier teeth about A LOT of stuff.
They DID put the kids in danger.
They ARE STILL letting the kids be in danger-- and THEY KNOW THOSE KIDS ARE IN DANGER-- THEY LAUGHED ABOUT IT!!
THEY ARE NOT HELPING THE KIDS, which is supposed to be thier entire focus.



please give the family a copy of this to printout and put next to their bible:




and this website:

CPSWATCH.com is now defunct...closed by cps.
Cheryl Barns who ran it has been effectively shut down...but her stuff is archived.

I've emailed John McCain through the website.

I've saved the email on my account here, so it would be a simple matter to resend it to other legislators. Whom else should we try emailing?

Can she contact local media? Get as wide of coverage of those images and the ER report as possible. Show up at the fron door of politicians. Contact national news outlets -- Bill O'Reilley loves to crusade against legal authorities who cover people who abuse children (it's worth a try!). Local investigative reporters. Call a news conference. Call the bishop.

Get as many high-profile people as possible, because only pressure on the bureacracy will work.

I sent it in to Glenn Beck. He is awesome at rooting out and exposing corrupt officials. He is also a child advocate.

I hope he responds.

hey look i am that 10-year-old girl and i NEVER said i wanted to be a morman i wanted to know what they beleived in. i dont even know that Kristi person and have never heard of her KEEP UR COMMENTS TO UR SELF PEOPLE!!!!! thx joanna rose sandrock

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About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by alicia published on May 23, 2006 10:09 PM.

Another friend of mine is suffering - please pray was the previous entry in this blog.

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