Guest Post - on marriage

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This is reprinted with permission from the author, who goes by Daniel J. Dick. Please feel free to email him at dan(at)nodivorces(dot)com
-----Original Message-----
This is a battle, and there is more of a battle than what you or I see. Some of this is the battle for control over our spirits and our souls. Some of this battle is to force you and me to give our faith to pessimism, negativity, sin, hatred, bitterness, and everyone of Satan's servants who sometimes come in godly clothing. The devil does not always come with horns and a pitch fork. That's mostly just a distraction.


It is not Christianity. It is not Catholicism. It is not good principles that is doing
this to us, but pretense, lies, deceit, masquerading, a charade, strongholds of
reason built on palatible lies--lies palatible because they're candy coated with
truth. 1+1=2...2+2=4...4+4=96. Yeah, uh huh, right, ok...We swallow the lie
because there is so much truth surrounding it. Lies that defend adultery. Lies
that confuse forgiveness with approval. Lies that confuse condemnation and hatred with loving correction. Lies that would break down all barriers to hell. Lies that tell you there is no life ahead. Lies that tell you that you have no choice but to curse God and the church and die. Lies that would try to own you and your eternal soul and reward your tormentor while turning you against your friend. Lies that would make it hard to discern which was which. Smoke and mirrors. We're in a house of mirrors. In this case, it would seem the mirrors were cased in around us after we entered and the only way out would be to break the mirrors, bring down the lies, and create a safe way out of this mess for all concerned. But the house of mirrors for one is the house of mirrors for all.

So we need to be about the business of breaking the mirrors--bringing down the lies. There's a heaven and there's a hell. All adulterers go to hell. Faithful ex-adulterers don't. But beyond that we need to pick a mirror,. break it and guard to make sure that mirror never gets replaced again. And, if each of us will do this, the divorce industry will fall.

Adulterers go to hell--not they don't--yes they do--Rev. 21:8
Liars go to hell--no they don't--yes they do--Rev 21.8
To divorce and marry except for cause of unfaithfulness is adultery--no it isn't--yes it is Matt 19.9
God hates divorce--no he doesn't--yes he does--Malachi 2:16

It's ok to sin coz God forgives--no it isn't--go and sin no more...
God forgives--but he doesn't condone
God is merciful--and he won't let you or me ruin all heaven with our sin.
God is kind and patient--that's why He gives you a chance to repent.
You're judgmental--this is not about me--it's about honoring your vows before God.
You're condemning me--I am not; I'm letting you know you are in danger.
You're condemning me to hell because I don't come up to your standards--no, I'm telling you the truth that you're walking in to hell of your own accord.
Divorce is common; many people do it--many people perish into hell.
Don't I have a right to be happy? -- Fine--be happy being honorable and true.
Irreconcilable differences -- How did you prove that? It's a lie. You stopped trying
Maybe it wasn't meant to be -- What is "it"? What power of choice does "it" have to destine you to unfaithfulness?
Things just didn't work out -- What bad choice did "things" make to cause this to happen?
Some marriages don't work out -- None do--that's your job to keep your own promises.
Some things are just outside our control -- and some things are not.
It just happened -- Lie; you did it; you made it happen.
I couldn't help myself -- fine, if you're so weak, get help. Shore yourself up. Be an adult.
I know it's wrong -- then don't do it unless you want to perish to hell forever and take other people with you, like maybe your children and friends you set an example for.
It takes two to tango -- but it only takes one to wreck the tango.
The faithful have to take their share of the blame -- no, every person is responsible for his or her own choices.
My needs weren't getting met -- you mean you didn't get what you wanted?
Everybody deserves a second chance -- no we don't.
We're already divorced -- did your divorce make your wedding vows magically unsaid?
It's better to divorce than to fight -- no, it's better to grow up and learn to communicate nicer.
It's better to divorce than to make the children suffer -- oh, is it also better for you to go to hell than to suffer in heaven?
We just cannot get along -- What's a "long"? Where do you get one? Skyscraper store? Rope factory?
Counseling didn't work -- get a different kind of counselor.
I'm already in a new relationship -- Oh, you mean you've decided to be a whore forever?
Children are resilient -- they heal when their arms are cut off, too; are you also going to do that?
The children will be OK if you cooperate and make the divorce easy -- is that lie said to benefit the children or to numb the the pain of your conscience so you could hurt them to the core?
The life went out of our marriage -- that is because it was your job to breathe life into it.
The grass is greener on the other side -- that's because you're not watering your lawn.
God will forgive -- yeah, if you stop living like a whore.
He forgave the woman caught in adultery -- she stopped committing adultery.
Everyone should have a right to leave if they want -- liar; you gave up that right with your own words in your own wedding.
Sometimes things don't go as planned -- but you can still keep your promises if you're honest.
I'm not in love with you any more -- that's because you don't love people at all, only what you get from them. True love is a choice of the heart and a commitment of integrity and you obviously have none if you don't honor your vows.
Judge not lest thou be judged -- Are you judging me by saying "judge not"? The Bible also commands us to rebuke the sinner. How do you propose I do that without being accused of judging? Judgment condemns. Rebuke attempts to rescue from judgment.

After all of this, the hellbent adulterer is still hellbound, entrenched, but the first conflict with the new lover may tend to break that relationship more quickly and yet pride may keep them from ever coming back. In their minds God is still wrong and they are still right. Why? Because they want to be right, and there are enough people who will comfort them by believing the lies, supporting their excuses, coddling them with justifications, comforting them into hell. Why?

Because Satan wants people to think that is more loving than trying to snatch them from the flames of hell before it is too late.

But, the strongholds need to come down. The deceit. The lies that take up residence in the minds of the people and shore up this horrible sin, as well as the lies that would try to take the lives of those who would oppose such sin.

Dan

3 Comments

Oh thank you for posting this. Divorce trauma lasts LONG after the ink is dry on the paper and long after the kids are grown. My hubby's parents are divorced and there is a cadre of half- and step-siblings, a stepmother who sees herself as matriarch, and my husband will see NONE of his father's inheritance of what is rightfully his. The collapse of the family is deep, traumatic, and lasting and we must oppose divorce, & help women and men in difficult situations.

and what about the abuser?? Are you saying that you should stick in a marriage that's abusive? What of that? I doubt any God would allow such a fate to anyone.

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This page contains a single entry by alicia published on February 17, 2005 6:25 PM.

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