from my inbox today
**************
The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to
take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or
changing one letter, and then supply a new definition.
Here are this year's winners:
1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
realize it was your money to start with.
-- the inability to get a Taxi in NYC in the rain.
2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
-- the act of falling into the LaBrea Tar Pits more than once.
3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
little sign of breaking down in the near future.
-- a chemical compound made up of the two most
common elements in the Universe: Hydrogen and Stupidity.
4. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
-- the act of your ex-wife ripping your genitals off by
pulling them though your wallet.
5. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
-- plural of the Italian "giraffito", a very small, but very tall
replica of the Grotto at Lourdes.
6. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
who doesn't get it.
-- "Searchasm" -- the gulf between the reference librarian
who has the answer and the library patron who just
doesn't get it.
7. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
-- "Inoculattea" - when you squeeze the lemon slice to put
lemon juice in your tea and it goes into your eye instead.
8. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
-- What oldsters come down with when they've been living
in the "Home" so long that they think that "Wow" and
"Cool, Man!" is still wow and cool.
9. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
-- this means "bad to the bone".
10. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's
like, a serious bummer.
-- misspelled. "Carmageddon" - grid lock in Detroit.
11. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.
-- another misspelling: "Decafelon" - a group of ten felons.
12. Glibido: All talk and no action.
-- my ex-brother-in-law. Trust me.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
-- "Arachnocleptic" - the act of stealing spiders without knowing it.
14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
-- common insect in Minnesota in the Summer. Known to eat
rats and small children.
15. Caterpallor (n.): The colour you turn after finding half a grub in
the fruit you're eating. And the pick of the literature:
-- Caterpallor, -oris, m. male counterpart of the caryatide
-- (caryatis, -idis, f.). Statues of people who carry the weight
of god on their sholders.
16. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an *******.
-- Small moon of the 7th planet.
