moments of grace

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I've been undergoing some stresses lately and have been discouraged, sad, angry and a lot of other very uncomfortable feelings. I'm not ready to talk about the details of the underlying causes, suffice it to say that it is not a minor set of events that has triggered this. On top of it all, my asthma has been majorly flaring up and that means coughing spells and lost sleep, not that I normally get as much sleep as I would like to anyhow. I finally broke down today and went to the urgent care, I am now on a couple of medications that I know from experience will help me a lot but that I also know from experience will have other, unpleasant, side effects. But as I tell my patients, breathing is not optional.

In the midst of the stress, there have been many small events that have let me know that God has not forgotten me and that there is a meaning and purpose here. I am very thankful for these small blessings.

Friday is my half-day in the office. If I don't have a mom in labor to sit with, John and I try to have Friday lunch together. There is a Japanese restaurant in town that we go to quite frequently on Fridays, and there is a waitress there that knows us and will have our tea on the table pretty much the moment we show up. Yesterday, we were partway through our meal when she informed us that the restaurant owner would be buying us dessert - wonderful fresh pineapple.

Today was the diocesan Respect Life seminar for PRLCs and also the NFP community. There was a great speaker on perinatal hospice. We have attended this event every year since we moved to Rockford, and it is always a blessing. This evening was the annual support the military dinner in our parish, sponsored by the Knights of Columbus. There was a USO style show as entertainment, and one of the skits featured 4 knights in hula skirts over shorts (very funny). And.....I won the 50/50 drawing! Just a small gift from God to remind me not to fret or worry about things. Remember the lilies of the field.

Which reminds me, that earlier in the week in a parish study group, we had been talking about that passage from Matthew 6:
25 'Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink,* or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life?* 28And why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, 29yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these. 30But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you--you of little faith? 31Therefore do not worry, saying, "What will we eat?" or "What will we drink?" or "What will we wear?" 32For it is the Gentiles who strive for all these things; and indeed your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33But strive first for the kingdom of God* and his* righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
34 'So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today's trouble is enough for today.

So thank you Lord for the little gifts and help me to put my concerns in their proper perspective.


Prayers for your health and peace.

I've re-discovered your blog at what sounds like a difficult time in your life. As an RN and at 50 an FNP student - I really need to hear the real life struggles and graces of living a Catholic life. I do hope you keep posting and I am glad you have made the tough decision to get asthma care for yourself. As my pastor once told me: "You can't care for anyone if you're half dead."
You will be in my prayers tonight.

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About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by alicia published on November 7, 2009 8:45 PM.

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