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October 23, 2006
black border on this post, please
My dad died this morning. It was both an expected event and a big surprise. His health has been failing steadily over the last year, and he has been in and out of the hospital. But it was still a surprise. Yes, he had been transferred from the rehab hospital (where he had been recovering from a below the knee amputation) to the acute care facility. But that has been happening with some regularity lately. And yes, he had been transferred to ICU Saturday with blood pressure issues - but that is just another of the bumps on the roller coaster ride he's been on for years. I asked my sister on Saturday if she thought we needed to fly out to California. She told me that the nurses thought he'd make it out of ICU again - he just needed to consent to go on dialysis. He really didn't want to go on dialysis - and he didn't.
He apparently suffered acute heart failure sometime this morning. His second wife was there with him, he had eaten a good breakfast, and he looked like he was going to sleep. But it was the final rest. I got the news this afternoon, while I was at work. I thought I was going to be ok to finish the day but by the time I got off the phone, I knew that I had to go home. Even though there is precious little that I can do on a practical level from 2000 miles away, I needed to be where I could talk on the phone freely and not worry about other stuff.
My brothers in CA will be helping my stepmom with details. I am waiting to see what the plans are before I make my plans. I guess that it is a good thing that I hadn't scheduled the housewarming yet - I'm going to push it to after Thanksgiving, I think. Make it an Advent/housewarming event.
If you can find a moment, pray for my dad's soul. I am morally certain that he was not in a state of grace, and I can only hope that at the very last he came to an acknowledgment and repentance. I take hope in the private revelations given to St. Faustina about the Divine Mercy. Pray, too, for one of my sisters. She and my dad were estranged, and now she is just torn up inside and out. Pray that she will find the peace that I know God wants her to have.
It's at times like this that I remember that forgiveness is more healing to the victim of ill-doing than to the perpetrator. It is possible to forgive without it being a justification or excuse for the evils done to one - it is possible to forgive even if the perpetrator never acknowledges the injustice, never apologizes, never makes even the first step towards reparation. Jesus from the cross asked forgiveness for those who crucified Him - and we are called to do likewise.
Oh my Jesus, forgive us our sins. Save us from the fires of Hell. Lead all souls to Heaven, especially those most in need of your mercy.
Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Posted by alicia at October 23, 2006 9:26 PM
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Comments
I'm so sorry for your loss. Prayers for the repose of his soul, and for your family.
Posted by: KatieButler at October 23, 2006 11:53 PM
Alicia,
I am so sorry for your loss, I pray that God give you and your siblings, and all who mourn your father's loss, comfort and peace. I pray for the repose of your father's soul, may his memory be eternal.
God Bless you and yours
Posted by: ukok at October 24, 2006 3:44 AM
My prayers and sympathies for you and all your family at this particular time.
Shalom,
Jan
Posted by: Jan at October 24, 2006 8:04 AM
Alicia:
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. We will pray for you.
Posted by: Amy Pawlak at October 24, 2006 8:12 AM
Oh, I am truly sorry, Alicia. I will add you and your entire family to my prayers, and ask my children to pray for your dad.
Posted by: Renee at October 24, 2006 9:25 AM
I'm so sorry, Alicia. I will be praying for your father's soul as well as for the healing of your whole family.
Posted by: Valerie at October 24, 2006 9:31 AM
My condolences, Alicia. God is merciful and will honour your prayers. We'll all lift him up -- and your entire family. Be at peace.
Posted by: gsk at October 24, 2006 10:30 AM
Alicia,
I am sorry for your loss. I will certainly keep your father, your sister and your whole family in my prayers.
Requiem æternam dona eis, Domine, et lux perpetua luceat eis.
Posted by: MelanieB at October 24, 2006 11:31 AM
Praying for you, your dad and your family.
--Amanda
Posted by: mandamum at October 24, 2006 11:54 AM
Oh dear Alicia, I'm so sorry to hear.
May his Memory be Eternal. Be assured of my prayers for his soul, and for God's peace and comfort during these difficult days.
Posted by: Mimi at October 24, 2006 2:19 PM
Alicia, I am praying here for your dad, your sister, for you & the rest of your family. May God comfort you all...
Posted by: Sparki at October 24, 2006 5:28 PM
I am sorry to hear this heartbreaking news. Your whole family will be in my prayers.
Posted by: :o) at October 24, 2006 7:55 PM
My deepest sympathy for your loss. May God have mercy on his soul.
Posted by: mrsdarwin at October 24, 2006 10:28 PM
I'm so sorry for your loss Alicia. You and your family will be in my prayers.
Elena
Posted by: Elena at October 24, 2006 10:57 PM
I will pray for your dad's soul at adoration tonight. There is a picture of the "divine mercy" Jesus on the wall to remind me. I'm so sorry about your sister and your dad, it must be very hard for her as well. God bless you and your family.
Posted by: Laura at October 25, 2006 1:28 AM
Prayers coming for your dad, and for all who loved him and grieve his passing.
Posted by: TiaKay at October 25, 2006 9:27 AM
Very sorry for your loss. Everyone's in my prayers.
Posted by: Kate P at October 25, 2006 2:07 PM
I am so sorry.
All of you will be in my prayers.
Posted by: Ellyn at October 25, 2006 4:27 PM
Condolences to you and your family. Will be praying for you all.
Posted by: Peony Moss at October 25, 2006 7:11 PM
**hugs** and prayers, Alicia. I'm so very sorry.
Posted by: Jane at October 25, 2006 8:17 PM
I'm very sorry for you loss. I will pray for all of you.
Posted by: Robin at October 26, 2006 9:07 PM
May your father's soul, and all the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. My prayers for you all.
Posted by: Dorian Speed at October 26, 2006 9:30 PM
May the mercy and peace of God surround you. Only He truly knew your father's heart. Rest in that promise.
Posted by: Renee P at October 27, 2006 1:24 AM
In my prayers my friend.
Posted by: ukok at October 27, 2006 8:41 PM
Alicia, I'm so very sorry to read this. And though I am late, as always, I will pray for your dad and for your whole family. I will especially make your sister my intention at Sunday mass.
Bless you. Make God hold you in the palm of his hand during this most distressing time.
Posted by: MamaT at October 27, 2006 11:03 PM
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. May God bless and comfort you and your family during this time.
Posted by: A. Noel at October 29, 2006 3:54 PM
Alicia, just passing through to let you know that I'm still thinking of you and praying for all concerned.
God Bless you.
Posted by: ukok at October 30, 2006 7:54 PM