Fructus Ventris: cat haiku/Author Unknown

October 17, 2005

ATTENTION CAT OWNERS:
If you can't relate to this, your cat might be dead.

You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
That will sure show you.

You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail!
Behold, elevator butt.

The rule for today:
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.

In deep sleep hear sound
cat vomit hairball somewhere
will find in morning.

Grace personified.
I leap into the window.
I meant to do that.

Blur of motion, then
silence, me, a paper bag.
What is so funny?

The mighty hunter
Returns with gifts of plump birds
your foot just squashed one.

You're always typing.
Well, let's see you ignore my
sitting on your hands.

My small cardboard box.
You cannot see me if I
can just hide my head.

Terrible battle.
I fought for hours. Come and see!
What's a 'term paper?'

Small brave carnivores
Kill pine cones and mosquitoes,
Fear vacuum cleaner

I want to be close
to you. Can I fit my head
inside your armpit?

Wanna go outside.
Oh, poop! Help! I got outside!
Let me back inside!

Oh no! Big One
has been trapped by newspaper!
Cat to the rescue!

Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in bed, then screams;
My claws are not that sharp.

Posted by alicia at October 17, 2005 10:08 PM

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Thank goodness I have a dog ;)

God Bless.

Posted by: ukok at October 18, 2005 10:06 AM

I'm owned by two cats, and this cracks me up every time I read it!

Posted by: Mimi at October 18, 2005 2:23 PM

Purr-fect poem -- the cat's meow! Thank you!

Posted by: Patricia Gonzalez at October 18, 2005 10:24 PM

I can relate to this so well -- especially this part:

You're always typing.
Well, let's see you ignore my
sitting on your hands.

It's also a little difficult to move the mouse when your cat is sitting on your hand.

I love it!

Posted by: Jean at October 19, 2005 3:11 PM

How did my cat get to your house???

Posted by: dizzylaurel at October 22, 2005 12:19 PM